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Day 7–Bourton-on-the-Water-Birdland-Sudeley Castle-Brackley

Well, it’s hard to believe we left home a week ago today. Time flies when in the UK, I guess!

This morning we left the lovely Jasmine Cottage in Bourton-on-the-Water. We were up early as Mrs. K made breakfast in 4 waves hers, B-Koog’s, mine and E’s. I helped clean up the kitchen and pack up the food. To be fair, Mrs. K did the majority of the cleaning as well. This woman is amazing and we fools do not deserve the way we are pampered.

I showered and packed as did the Mrs. and E. And then there is our B. He waited until the last possible moment to shower, dress and pack. This kid is very, um, unique and if testing patience was a sport he’d be an Olympian! E brought down all the bags and loaded them into the car for us. Once B was done with his leisurely shower and got himself ready he was “shocked” to know the car was packed. This kid was on our last nerve before 10am.

Anyway, we said goodbye to Jasmine Cottage and headed down the street to Birdland. A request by the kids after seeing a miniature version of it at the Miniature Village yesterday. It was a surprisingly fun place! The teens were very cute to watch as they moved from habitat to habitat. It’s funny how kids can be annoying one moment and adorable the next. Since they wanted to see the tortoises and ducks we waited for an additional hour to let them have their moment with the animals.

After they had their fill of the birds, we headed to the car and drove to Sudeley Castle. As we arrived, we noticed there were people in formal dresses and morning suits. There was a wedding at the Castle’s Chapel. Everyone looks very sharp and made me kind of wish we were invited!

The Castle was very impressive both from an architecture and a collection perspective. The stuff this place had was pretty cool, everything from priceless Dutch art to a lock of Anne Bolyn’s hair. Truly an eclectic collection of Royal things. I mentioned to Mrs. Koog that if our home ever became a country ancestral castle, I hope our descendents find my “priceless” 8th grade pastel drawing of Jimi Hendrix and display it proudly for the public’s viewing pleasure!

With the castle toured and the teen koogs fed (again)we were on our way to Brackley, the town close to Silverstone. We arrived in Brackley and immediately passed the F1 Mercedes Team headquarters. Unfortunately, we didn’t see Kimi Antonelli a the HQ. He was busy winnng the P1 position for tomorrow’s British Grand Prix!

All of us understood the Brackley hotel we were staying in was not going to be fancy. Oh boy, was it *not* fancy. As we walked in, we were treated to an interesting scent of stale beer and cigarettes. Well, it was the hotel bar we walked into so that was not surprising. What was surprising was the 3 children under 4 sitting at the bar next to the sign that said something about needing to look at least 25 or you would be IDd. Maybe it was 25 months old?

Mrs. Koog was handling the check in while I spoke with the Mom of the 3 toddlers at the bar and she asked me how I handled having 2 boys as a single parent. I kindly introduced her to my wife and said I was in fact *not* single and I shared both the joys and the torments with the lady at the registration desk. With that, she took the 3 bar flies and walked out into the courtyard.

Now that I had alienated a local, we unloaded the car and headed to our room. What an interesting room it was. The smell of cigarettes and stale beer was replaced with mildew, Lysol, musty-old-rug and extreme heat. There were three beds in the room which was a positive. Unfortunately, each *decorative* pillow and blanket had splotch of either ketchup or blood. Yikes! Hoping all the surprises were limited to the sleeping area we opened the bathroom door. Holy crap! It smelled like someone had smoked a carton of cigs in the bathroom! Before I quickly slammed the door, I could not help but notice the BLACK DIRT AND MUD in the shower. Not a little, A LOT!

The Mrs. knew I was not the person for the job of complaining because I would not have complained, we would have just slept in the car or in my 2 person backpacking tent. So, she handled the discussion with the guy at the registration desk. He seemed perplexed about the shower filth and cleaned that immediately as well as emptied an entire spray can of Lysol to clear the chain-smoked-in bathroom and the ketchup/blood decorative accoutrements were removed. I wish I had been removed.

I’m sure you are wondering how much we paid for this room of cleanliness (and possibly crime scene) horrors, right? Well, hold on to your blood stained bedding because we paid £1K *per night* for this hell hole. Yes, you read that correctly. You know why? Because this was the last place available near the Silverstone, the F1 British Grand Prix.

Now, we are at this Petri dish of a hotel because E and I are heading to the race at 5:30 am tomorrow morning. Guess who the loudest complainer is about our unfortunate room conditions? No, not me. E-Koog! The reason we are going to the F1 race in the first place. Lucky for him, I got him to silence his complaining before Mrs. Koog made him the next set of blood stains left on the bedding!

After E’s complaints about the lack of poshness were registered and ignored we headed to dinner. Meat pies for me and the boys and a chicken sandwich for the Mrs. Dinner was fine and the waitress was lovely. We had a nice stroll through a park with a dude wearing what looked like a skirt with cargo pants attached playing with devil sticks. Our assumption, he was a professional RenFair attendee.

Back at the Roach Motel, we headed to sleep around 8 since E and I had a very early bus to catch to Silverstone. Pray we are not either murdered or eaten alive by bed bugs!

Until tomorrow…


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