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Finding a companion for GZ…A call to the wild

So, I’m in talking with my officemate, GZ, and she’s telling me about this wedding she must attend in April and she needs a date. This is causing her much stress, which leads to a very stressful workday for Koog.

Ever since I’ve known GZ, which has been all of 4 months, she’s been looking for a companion. Now, she’s barking up the wrong tree asking me for dating advice. All of my friends are either married, too old or pervs. A select few are all of the above and I salute each and every one of you!

OK, so back to GZ. She needs a date. Here are her criteria (in order of importance):

1. Must be hot. (if you’re hot, married and pervy are fine)
2. Tall (no midgets will be considered at this time)
3. Witty (I’ve tried to tell her that I’m witty, but alas, I am too short)
4. Must have most, if not all teeth (white-ish is preferred)
5. Clothing is NOT optional (at the wedding, the after party is negotiable)

If you’re interested, send an e-mail and a pic to koog.rules@gmail.com.

Void where prohibited by law.

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